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"Placing innumerable paper clips on someone's desk is both juvenile and very unprofessional -- but isn't that the point?"

That's exactly the point in "Cubicle Warfare: 101 Office Traps and Pranks" ($14.95, HarperCollins).

Human Resources, beware: This "tactical manual" may result in bogus termination notices, crickets in desk drawers and break-room vending machines suddenly stocked with cans of beer.

Warning to potential pranksters: You could be fired for some of these stunts if you're caught.

But for those who howl when they watch the NBC series "The Office" and see gung-ho Dwight Shrute find his stapler in a Jell-O mold, this book allows them to subvert dreary office routines and have a few laughs.

"We haven't gotten sued yet," says author John Austin, who also provided the instructional drawings in the book. "We have a nice disclaimer in the beginning, which makes some people be able to sleep at night. I haven't heard any horror stories coming from the office yet."

Austin presents the pranks as the opportunity to get even with annoying co-workers. Every prank is flagged "who deserves this."

For example, a joke that involves setting and concealing several cheap alarm clocks in a co-worker's cubicle is poetic justice for that smug twit who always keeps track of what time you clock in.

And consider:

• Gluing pennies on the desk of the co-worker who borrows money and doesn't pay it back.

• Placing a blow-up doll under the desk of the employee who surfs the Internet for naughty photos.

• Making counterfeit Tootsie Rolls out of brown crayons and leaving them for the co-worker who helps themselves to your candy stash.

Cruel? Maybe. Funny? Definitely. Grounds for termination? Well, there is that risk.

A freelance toy designer who created toy concepts for the movie "The Incredible Hulk" and is designing toys for "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," scheduled for release next year, Austin formerly designed toys for Hasbro. Not surprisingly, he worked in the company's boys research and development department. In a place where you have to think like a 12-year-old, it was only natural that a few goldfish would turn up in the water cooler or that someone's chair would self-destruct when sat on.

"It's a playful environment," Austin says. "You're always experimenting with other toys and reverse engineering. We just started playing along with classic office pranks. I just thought it could be cool to put it all together into some tactical manual."

The pranks range from difficulty Level 1, such as putting salt in a co-worker's pen, to Level 5, which could involve buying three live mice and numbering them one, two and five and letting them loose in someone's office. (They'll wonder what happened to mice three and four.)

That joke includes a warning: "If caught, you could lose your job and/or pay the bill for rodent removal."

Austin says they didn't test every joke, but that he was on the receiving end of a few when he worked for Hasbro.

"I always fell for the petroleum in the phone. My co-workers would always put Vaseline on my phone and call me from their desk, and it as the worst feeling ever. Nothing like taking your finger and cleaning out your ear like that. It's disgusting."

His advice for those who buy the book:

• "Just keep it at your level. Never go up the ladder. Never prank your boss. Then HR's involved."

• "You don't want to spend days on something but only get a couple of minutes' enjoyment out of it."

• "When you get pranked, if you deserved it, you just take it like a man. You're not going to get upset."

One more piece of advice: Don't let anybody at work see you reading this book.

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