Lifestyles

To put it another way, almost nobody has a Mike Brady screen saver on his office computer. Few coffee mugs or refrigerator magnets bear the likenesses of Rob Petrie from "The Dick Van Dyke Show" or "Mr. C" from "Happy Days."

Everyone has a mother. And everyone, it seems, has a favorite TV mom. We admire their qualities. We scoff at their preposterously perfect households. But they remain cultural reference points, for better or worse.

"I think they are a huge part of TV. They always have been," says Tom Hill, creative director of Nick at Nite, which recently ran the finale of the second season of the "Search for the Funniest Mom in America." "It just is a vital relationship in all our lives. It's also a vital way that we relate to the TV characters that we grew up with."

June Cleaver cleaned in high heels and pearls. Shirley Partridge found time to raise five kids while riding around in a faux-psychedelic minibus as the lead singer for "The Partridge Family." On "Family Ties," Meredith Baxter Birney played mom and architect Elyse Keaton, who cooked meals for her brood while looking over blueprints in the kitchen.

But consider that Clair Huxtable, the tough, smart attorney and mother of five played by Phylicia Rashad on "The Cosby Show," is still providing inspiration more than a decade after the show's final episode. In a 2004 poll of 720 respondents conducted by Opinion Research Corp., she was voted "closest to your own mom in spirit."

"(In) the older shows, they're all the perfect mom," says Kristen Huth, 18, of Buffalo Township, Butler County. "They're doting on their children and being there for their husband when they get home from work. 'Hi, Honey, how was your day?' Now they're more critical or getting in the way of things."

Those mothers, from the meddlesome Marie Barone on "Everybody Loves Raymond" to the villainous Livia Soprano on "The Sopranos," can serve as cautionary examples of how not to act, just as the '50s housewives provide an unattainable ideal, Huth suggests.

"There's a happy medium between both that you don't see on TV."

Kathleen Newman, professor of English at Carnegie Mellon University, writes on the history of mass media. Her books include "Radio Active: Advertising and Consumer Activism, 1935-1947." Her book "Lowbrow: The Forgotten Culture of the 1950s," will be published in 2007.

"I would say that the TV mother remains an icon in contrast to the reality of all mothers, whether they have a job outside of the home or not, because our society has still not solved the problem of children care," she says. "Child care is a problem that is left up to every individual family. There is no social organization or consensus on how children should be taken care of."

JoLynne Dougherty, of Carnegie, has a fondness for the character of Caroline Ingalls, the frontier mom from "Little House on the Prairie."

"She was a very strong woman, but she was also very feminine," says the mother of three, as she changes the diaper on 16-month-old daughter Mary Kate. Rory, her 4 1/2-year-old, loudly petitions for her attention in the background.

She compares her own mother, Bonnie Frederick, to Edith Bunker, played by Jean Stapleton, on "All in the Family." Dougherty, 35, says she and her father both were strong willed and given to differences of opinion. Her mother managed and mediated their strong personalities, just like Edith did with Archie and Gloria.

"She was able to make it all work, and she kept them a family," she says.

TV moms served as a cultural reference point, says Nick at Nite's Hill.

"In some ways, they've grown up a little bit just as we've grown up," he says. "The early TV moms were so idealized and perfect, sort of a 6-year-old's idea of mom: 'She makes everything better. She just has to give my boo-boo a kiss, and it's all better.'"

That changed, of course, as times changed.

In 1968, "Julia" starred Diahann Carroll as a nurse who tries to raise her young son alone after her husband is killed in Vietnam. On "One Day at a Time," which premiered in 1975, scrappy Bonnie Franklin fought her husband for alimony payments while raising two children, including the future Mrs. Eddie Van Halen. In the '80s and '90s, unruly domestic goddess Roseanne Arnold aired her family's dirty laundry on "Roseanne."

Today's TV moms often are in need of a good psychiatrist. Consider Lucille, the snobbish matriarch of the Bluth Family played by Jessica Walters on "Arrested Development." Or Bree Van De Kamp, played by Marcia Cross, on "Desperate Housewives."

"I would say that the TV mom has definitely evolved," Newman says. "She's quirky, she's offbeat, she's wired. She's not a great mother. She's got psychological problems. Her houses are not always clean. She drinks in the afternoon. She sues her own children."

She's also married to the mob.

"Here's where HBO has taken over the landscape," Newman says. "There's probably more references to the Sopranos as a television family than anything on network television today."

She also cites "Big Love," the new HBO drama about a man with three wives.

Dr. Charles Sophy, a psychiatrist based in Beverly Hills, says we may envy TV mothers more than we want to admit.

"The perfect mom on TV was a caricature of the mom we wanted to have," he says. "No mother could ever be as good a mother as, say, June Cleaver or even Carol Brady."

That doesn't mean we'd turn them away if they showed up at our door to borrow a cup of sugar.

"I don't want to be that mother," Newman says. "But I wish she lived at my house and was cleaning my kitchen floor right now."

TV Moms winner

Dorothy Myers, of Elizabeth, is the winner of our TV Moms prize package.

Her ballot was chosen at random to receive a $100 certificate for a beauty treatment, plus a flower delivery, a framed photo and a $50 gift certificate for tea for two.

The TV mom who best exemplifies my mother is:

Shirley Partridge: "My mother was very personable, helpful and musical. We sang with each other, and she played the guitar." -- Tricia Madafari, of Evans City

Shirley Partridge: "Assertive, organized, always singing, always getting her kids on television -- and a native of Western Pennsylvania." -- Dennis P. McManus, of Pittsburgh

Lucy Ricardo: "If Lucy had a twin, it would be my mom. She's silly and loves life." -- Ed Pastorius, of Pleasant Hills

Harriet Nelson: "Her son -- me -- was a teenage idol." -- Paul Beck, of Reserve

Peg Bundy: "Mom was down to earth and gutsy." -- Dorothy Myers, of Elizabeth

Olivia Walton: "My mom lived in that era, worked hard, had good morals and strong faith." -- Patricia Benna, of Ross

Olivia Walton: "She lavished her love and care on her seven children. Her influence is almost beyond explanation in today's world." -- Glenys Waters, of Bridgeville

Marion Cunningham: "She was very concerned when her kids got in trouble and handled the matters in a very sunny way." -- Ann Lehrman, of Spring Hill

Edith Bunker: "She would wait on my dad hand and foot and cared for him no matter what." -- Ed Leheny, of Aliquippa

Marion Cunningham: "They could be twins." -- Joyce Krasinski, of North Versailles

Shirley Partridge: "They have the same hair." -- John Krasinski, of North Versailles

Marion Cunningham: "She exemplifies the caring, loving family above self in her role as a mom." -- Elizabeth Ducay, of Monroeville

Carol Brady: "She raised seven kids as a stay-at-home mom." David Hoburg, of Hampton

June Cleaver: "She's kind and understanding." -- Janet Jourdan, of Ross

Marie Barone: "My mom confronted my husband in our tiny Honda Civic demanding to know when she was getting a grandchild." -- Kelly Caruso, of Elrama

Harriet Nelson: "She was always at home when I got home after school, baking and cooking." -- Lois Jourdan, of Ross

Olivia Walton: "She's honest, fair and caring." -- Harry Marks, of Oakdale

Louise Jefferson: "She is the foundation on which the family is built." -- Thomas Davis, of Bellevue

Clair Huxtable: "She was educated and involved with family." -- Elaine M. Cole, of Verona

Olivia Walton: "They are both hard-working women who cared for many children." -- Mary Chizeck, of Mt. Lebanon

June Cleaver: "A stay-at-home mom who was always caring and encouraging -- and great dinners." -- Judie Collins, of O'Hara

Marie Barone: "She'll let anyone have it, speaking her mind all the time but always being sweet." -- Joe Scarillo, of Bethel Park

Marion Cunningham: "My mother was your typical mother -- always cooking, cleaning and taking care of her family." -- Pat Lunn, of Dormont

Edith Bunker: "She loves to talk." -- Jake Krasinski, of North Versailles

Marion Cunningham: "She keeps making jokes back and forth with my dad and my youngest son Jake." -- Cathy Leheny, of Aliquippa

Carol Brady: "They were stay-at-home moms who got involved in the school and the community." -- Jean DeStefano, of Carnegie

Donna Stone: "My mom was loving and caring even though times were hard and we were poor." -- Alice Reidel, of Bethel Park

Olivia Walton: "She is a deep woman of faith who loved her children and husband." -- Will Arnold, of Ross

Olivia Walton: "We were loved! My sister Doris and I never lacked or anything, even though our parents didn't have a lot." -- Loretta Obusek, of Jefferson Hills

Olivia Walton: "My mother grew up in the same era, learned the same work ethic needed to raise a family and showed that same love to a house full of kids." -- Brad Sherry, of Sewickley

Clair Huxtable: "She is loving, caring, a hard-working businesswoman and very busy with her family." -- Julie Nemeth, of Hampton

Olivia Walton: "A peacemaker with a very large family, a sense of humor and responsibility." -- Rose Mary Rau, of Ross

Olivia Walton: "A very strong person in tough situations, a very caring parent." -- Irm Roy, of Franklin Park

Lorelai Gilmore: "She always says I'll grow up before she does." -- Samantha McFarland, of Hookstown

Edith Bunker: "She listened with her heart. My mom is 97 and still is a fountain of common sense with heart." -- Lois Chuby, of Penn Hills

Tyne Daly: "A solo parent, she exemplified compassion, conviction, lack of prejudice and a thirst for knowledge." -- Marilyn Wise, of Monroeville

Harriet Nelson: "She was clean, decent, respected her husband, a kind mom, fun, unassuming and a good housekeeper." -- Virginia Miranda, of Bellevue

Marge Simpson: "My mom's hair is four inches high -- but red, not blue." -- Jacob Boles, of Edgewood

Carol Brady: "Shag-cut wig, cream of mushroom soup, ground meat in every meal." -- Cynthia Boles, of Edgewood

Olivia Walton: "She was always cleaning, cooking, (and she) canned and baked." -- Alice Riedel, of Bethel Park

Olivia Walton: "We had five children in our family, and my mom took very good care of us and my dad. And she was a great cook!" -- Elizabeth Lutz, of Baldwin

Florida Evans: "She was always there, dished out advice and the meals. We struggled, but she made sure we had it all." -- Ebony Chapman, of Spring Hill

Marie Barone: "She always told it like it was." -- Marion Hull, of Canonsburg

Marion Cunningham: "Married in the 1950s, a very male-dominated time. She is very reserved, soft spoken and proper." -- Cheryl Crawford, of Hookstown

Harriet Nelson: "Always there for me and Dad. Calm smart, loving." -- Gerri Rumpler, of Ross

Marie Barone: "She cooks, cleans, looks after her family and still looks good." -- Marie O'Reilly, of Baldwin

Edith Bunker: "Not a lot of formal education, but full of love and hard work." -- Dolores Kniss, of Portersville

Marie Barone: "She got you to do what needed to be done." -- Joanne Slappo, of South Park

Edith Bunker: "She was able to take a home full of quirky and strong personalities and make it a loving home. She keeps the family together." -- JoLynne Dougherty, of Carnegie

Olivia Walton: "My mom also treated each of her children as individuals and each in a special way, though there were only four of us!" -- Robin Najor-Betza, of Gibsonia

Marion Cunningham: "My mother always wore housedresses with an apron. She was fun loving. She liked to dance the Twist and just loved Elvis Presley. ... She was always inviting our friends to dinner and would hover over them and make them eat just like Marion did with Fonzie." -- Joyce Kirkbride, of West Deer

Clair Huxtable: "She is a working mom who still takes very good care of her family. She has a say in the family, and she makes everyone work together in the home. ... She is much like my mom because of her attitude and love for her family." -- Kelleye Watts, of Gibsonia

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