Lifestyles

When Stephanie Phillips cooks, reads a book, or otherwise is occupied for awhile, her two young daughters love to play creative games.

Madison, 7, and Morgan, 5, might play a role-playing game where one is a teacher and the other is a student -- or, one is a mom, and the other is a pet. They like to dance to music, play board games like Sorry!,and play with toys.

"You get so used to hearing Mommy!when they're asking for your help doing something," says Phillips, 40, of New Kensington. She is the senior director of Tender Care Learning Center in Lower Burrell. "Then, they get a little bit older, and all of a sudden they're playing by themselves. ... Sometimes, they do want that adult interaction, but they don't necessarily need it."

Parents may love playing with their children, but admit that they wish the kids could entertain themselves sometimes and leave the parents a little free time to visit with a friend, read a book, or just relax. Parents want to encourage kids to play independently, both for the adults' benefit and the children's, because self-directed play stimulates the imagination, experts say.

"Pediatricians agree that playtime is ... a very important part of child development," says Dr. Sonika Bhatnagar, a pediatrician at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh's Primary Care Center in Oakland.

Having times of independent play, Bhatnagar says, is "incredibly important because that's basically one of the methods that children use to help take a leadership role."

If parents provide a safe area with a lot of stimulating items, like dolls or toy cars, kids often "can spend hours keeping themselves quite happy," she says.

Michele Borba -- author of "The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries" -- says that children's independent play allows adults to enjoy themselves, decompress and relax. For the children, the benefits of independent play are a boost to creativity, the opportunity to explore hobbies or interests alone, and reduced anxiety. The play time gives both parents and kids a needed break.

"All that micromanaging and supervision doesn't help," Borba says in an e-mail.

How much a child can play by himself may depend on how much the parent has encouraged it, says Barbara Wollman. She is a registered play therapy supervisor, and a licensed clinical social worker for Squirrel Hill Psychological Services. Yet with many children, how independent and creative they are in their play is just an inherent part of their personality, she says. Some need more adult attention than others, and some have more imagination than others.

"It's beneficial to both the child and the parent to have some independent time," Wollman says. "Children need to do that in order to grow up to be healthy adults. ... Play is the way children learn about things."

A "Redbook" magazine article and experts interviewed offer the following suggestions.

• With younger children, make sure you are nearby to watch; for instance, reading a book on the couch while your child plays on the floor.

• Create a safe, toddler-proof place for your kids to play. Fill the space with entertaining items like interactive toys, stuffed animals, dolls, Legos, and crayons and coloring books. Rotate the toys so that your child doesn't get bored or overwhelmed.

• Give them arts and crafts materials and projects. For instance, while you cook dinner, kids can make placemats with construction paper, crayons and stickers.

• Limit television time, even if your kids are watching educational shows. Too much television and not enough active play don't provide adequate stimulation.

• Encourage kids to play alone; tell them how much fun it is.

• Kids can be fascinated with plenty of nontoy items, and can spend hours playing with them: Tupperware in the kitchen, for instance.

• Provide an area where kids can get messy while they play, like with Play-Doh, for instance. Maybe use a shower curtain liner to cover a portion of the playroom floor.

• Encourage physical activity, like dancing to music.

Sources: Redbook magazine; Tribune-Review research

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