Today's dads not your father's father
"Want to take it home?" Streeb joked.
Across the room, 5-year-old Jordan Picone dumped out a basket of plastic critters.
"Ooh, are there any hippos?" Jeff Picone asked, sliding across the floor.
"He likes hippos ... Actually, I like hippos," he said, laughing.
Levine, 36, Streeb, 39, and Picone, 38, met several years ago as their children played together at a park near their Regent Square homes. The men, who serve as primary caregivers for their children, are part of a new generation of dads taking a more active role in all facets of their children's lives.
While there are no statistics that record precise numbers of Little League coaches, day-care and summer camp chauffeurs, pancake cooks or fishing buddies, there's no denying that today's fathers are assuming greater responsibility on the homefront.
"I definitely think there are more dads involved with their kids than ever before," said Streeb, a marketing consultant and freelance writer who works from home and cares for his children, Charlie 2, and Annika, 5.
A 2002 Parents Magazine survey found that 84 percent of men spend more time with their children than did their own fathers. Moreover, 72 percent said they'd spend even more time if their jobs would let them.
Tim Snyder, executive director of the Parental Stress Center in East Liberty, said changing roles for women and the demise of the nuclear family have brought about more involvement by fathers at all economic levels.
The number of children living with stay-at-home dads has jumped 70 percent since 1990, to 1.7 million, according to U.S. Census data.
"Traditionally, dad worked and mom stayed home and raised the kids," Snyder said. "More recently, roles have changed and allowed fathers to become more nurturing and directly involved with child care."
Streeb's wife of eight years, Andi Sherman, is entering her fourth year of medical school at the University of Pittsburgh. He said the decision opened up a world of new parenting possibilities.
"Obviously, there are more women working than a few generations ago, but working men are also making a conscious decision to spend more time with their children," Streeb said. "They now have the financial freedom and flexibility to do so."
Levine, 36, ditched his job two years ago as an industrial engineer at PPG to stay home with Alex, 2, and Jessica, 5. His wife, Wendy, started a computer software company from their home.
"The biggest difference is, at work, if you get stressed out, you can take a break and go walk around for 10 minutes," Levine said. "You can't really do that with kids."
Picone, who was pursuing a doctorate degree in psychology, has been a stay-at-home father to James, 3, and Jordan, 5, for the past five years. He said it was the best decision he ever made. His wife, Cindy, is in real estate development.
"My wife and I discussed it and decided we didn't want someone else taking care of our kids," he said. "She had a good job, and I was a student, so it just made sense."
When the men tell people they are the ones taking care of the kids and doing most of the housework, the most common responses are jealousy and incredulity.
"I could never do that. I'd be insane," Picone said, recounting one friend's reaction.
While they might not get in as much time at the gym, beers with the guys or extra sleep as they would like, involved fathers are becoming the norm, rather than the exception.
Steve Boley, 43, of West View, who coaches his 9-year-old twin sons, Scott and Ryan, in soccer, and serves as a den leader in Cub Scouts, said today's fathers are happy to step up.
"I think there are more expectations than before, but they are wonderful expectations," Boley said. "I meet very few dads nowadays who look down on that type of involvement."
Boley, who works full-time as a network supervisor at Union Switch and Signal, recalled growing up in a traditional family where his father spent long hours at the office.
"When I was young, fathers used to go out and do their own thing; they had their own clubs ... I think they finally realized all the fun they were missing," he said.
And though his own job can get hectic, he strives to make time for his children.
"I don't think any time you spend with your kids is wasted time. Plus, when both parents pitch in, no job is overwhelming."
Wives said the shared responsibility for children and chores, and the freedom to pursue their own careers, is immeasurable.
"For Kent, it's a lot of work, but I'm so proud of him," Sherman said. "He's built in a balance that allows me to pursue my goals and feel confident that our children are getting all the love and attention they deserve."
Still, working mothers said being away from home is difficult.
"When Charlie falls and asks for 'Da-da', I feel a little pang," Sherman said, putting her hand on her chest. "But it warms my heart at the same time."
Picone said it's sad that no matter what the situation, one parent always seems to miss out on quality time with the kids.
As fathers around the world are recognized and honored today, Snyder said they are facing new responsibilities and economic challenges.
"To have enough money and also spend enough time with your family is becoming harder and harder," Snyder said.
But fathers don't need to be superheroes, he added. The easiest way to get involved is setting aside a few special hours each week to eat lunch, color, play a game, go swimming or to the park.
"We need to discipline ourselves so we can get home at a decent hour and prioritize our activities," Snyder said. "I think we're seeing more and more employers that recognize the value in that."
Snyder said children benefit from a number of adult experiences, the most important of which is having good role models.
A 2002 study by the Economic and Social Research Council at the University of Oxford found that good father-child relationships are associated with an absence of emotional and behavioral difficulties, greater academic motivation and, eventually, successful marriages.
"Children love their parents and copy what they see," Snyder said.
What not to say to a stay-at-home dad
1. What are you going to do when you go back to work in the real world?
2. Wouldn't it be better for the kids if their mother stayed at home?
3. What do you do with all of your spare time?
4. Who wears the pants in the family?
5. Oh, so you're Mr. Mom.
6. That's a nice mommy-wagon you drive.
7. What does your wife think about you not working?
8. How can you stand to change diapers all the time?
9. Do you miss the security of having a real job?
10. (For working moms) What do you mean you didn't get a chance to finish the laundry?
Source: Buzz McLain, : the Web site for stay-at-home dads, primary caregiving fathers, men and their families.
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