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David Lee Roth makes radio debut
Q: Howard Stern had a pretty risque format, to put it mildly. How much do you think your show will resemble his?
A: Not at all. I'm not even remotely close to Stern. I'm not a humorist; I'm not a comic; I'm not a comedian. My sense of humor has teeth -- that makes me perfect for the inner city. Just like you, I'm a (expletive) cynic. You'll never get tired of listening to me speak your mind.
Q: So you won't be going just for laughs.
A: The difference between me and a comedian, I don't try -- comedians are desperate for the funny. With me, you either get it or you didn't.
Q: It sounds like you have a plan of how you want things to go, but not a schedule, or a format, true?
A: It will be completely my way and not resemble anything that's ever been on the radio. What other voice can ingratiate and infuriate the liberal arch left -- of which I am a card-carrying member -- and the NASCAR nation -- of which I am a card-carrying member?
Q: What's the latest Van Halen news? Do you still talk to those guys?
A: I talked to the drummer (Alex Van Halen) about a week ago. And I think, eventually, the inevitable will happen.
Q: You mean a reunion?
A: Sure. And it definitely won't be rockers with walkers. Getting onstage and singing "Dance the Night Away" -- let me tell you how difficult that isn't going to be. When people bring up Van Halen, I talk about it with pride and with no apprehension at all. I play those songs all the time.
Q: Not to get too off-topic, but is it true that you've been working as an emergency medical technician in New York?
A: I got my badge about year and a half ago, and I've worked in all five boroughs, mainly at night. I speak fluent Spanish, so I am often sent where that is an asset. I've seen this city from the inside out. How many other DJs do you know have delivered a baby? I'm on my fourth.
Q: What are you hoping to do with the radio show?
A: Every fourth week, we're going to up and move wherever -- whether it's the Grammys or the Superbowl -- all the bastions of sin and degradation.
Q: Including Pittsburgh, of course.
A: Absolutely. I am going to visit everywhere we play on the air. It's a performance, after all.
Q: Your, um, unique background will serve you well on the radio, then?
A: It's curious what qualifies both Stern and myself to do the same job. He's a family man who has spent the last 20 years in a small little studio and did quite well. I've spent the last 30 years leading a life of crime and international intrigue, so perhaps I'm overqualified.
Q: Will you be wearing those cheekless pants on the air? And, how will we know?
A: Let's face it, I look better in (cheekless) chaps than Al Franken ever (expletive) would.
Q: And what do you think will keep people tuning in every morning?
A: I'll tell people this: it'll give them a good reason to slap a little bourbon in their coffee. You'll get a bottomless cup of attitude, and the second one's free.
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