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For the past few months -- and it feels, since time began -- the monster-truck commercials have run rampant through the dinner hour: "Kids' seats -- only eight bucks!" growls a gravelly, gargantuan voice, while vehicles with wheels bigger than Big Ben -- and his offensive line -- smash cars, trucks, buses.

Who are these people, and what do they want?

As it turns out, cradled deep inside these monstrous automotive gladiators are shockingly normal-sized human beings. And they have but one purpose -- to do anything for your amusement, including destroying the very vehicles they've come to know and love and talk about almost as if they're people.

Driving big trucks and smashing things for a living is pretty much every 10-year-old boy's dream. Nobody knows that better than Andy Slifco, of Pottsville, Bradford County. He drives Eradicator, one of the most popular trucks coming to Mellon Arena this weekend for "Monster Jam."

"Yeah, I'm 45 and I never grew up!" Slifco says, with a laugh.

But the gig requires resources far beyond most 10-year-olds' allowances.

"Brand-new, $160,000, 170,000," Slifco says. "And you need a semi to pull 'em around in. You need the initial investment to build your own truck. Some guys go to Clear Channel and work for them. But I'm an independent, I own all my own stuff."

Unlike football, this is a sport that anyone can grasp right away, in any language. There's no instant-replay or "in-the-grasp" rule.

"The monsters will race side-by-side in that little arena (Mellon Arena)," Slifco says. "When we're all done racing, we'll do freestyle, which is when you go out and smash everything in there. Jump over it, jump on it, jump around it. Total destruction."

Freestyle is especially competitive. There are three judges in the crowd with scorecards -- each has 10 points to give out.

"If you do something that's really cool, you'll end up with a high score," Slifco say . "Wheelies, doughnuts, rollovers -- that pumps the score up. You break the truck, lose a wheel or something, the scores go way up."

Of course, the truck with the biggest reputation for mayhem is the one and only Gravedigger. Okay, not one and only -- Rod Schmidt drives Gravedigger #19, next-to-last in a line of black-and-neon-green-painted trucks that started 25 years ago.

"It's kind of a legend. Unlike the other trucks, Gravedigger puts it all on the line every time we run," Schmidt says. "That entails jumping higher, faster, further than anybody else -- a little crazier driving style than the rest of 'em. Putting the vehicle at risk."

"It's evolved, like monster trucks have evolved. The first truck we had started out really stiff, the newest #20 this year is state-of-the-art -- bypass shocks, supersoft suspension, bigger motors -- more power."

Though it may bear a slight resemblance to pro wrestling, monster trucking is actually quite competitive -- especially the racing, but the freestyle, too.

"We may not be racing for lots of money, but we're racing for pride," Schmidt says. "Our fans are counting on us."

That's a burden these guys take pretty seriously -- and, sometimes, it costs them.

Schmidt recalls his most exhilarating moment -- "Probably a rollover in Phoenix, which just demolished the truck, and actually landed us on top of another truck. It was crazy, but the fan response was huge. It was expensive for us."

For those who hope to one day find themselves in a smashed, upside-down truck on top of another smashed truck, you might as well start now.

"First, stay in school, get your education," Schmidt says. "Secondly, volunteer your time. Go to the shows, ask the pit crew if there's anything you can do. Even if it's only getting a drink for the driver. Every little bit helps. Everybody's part of the team."

Monster truck talk

Auger in: Crash nose first. Also known as a nose plant.

Bite: Traction, tires gripping the surface.

Blower: System that forces a combination of air and fuel into the engine to produce more horsepower. Also known as a supercharger.

Burn out: Spinning the truck's tires to clear the mud off and gain traction.

Case it: Hit the lowest part of the truck's frame on the peak of the obstacle.

Cyclone: A high-speed donut.

Doughnut: When a truck spins in circles in one spot.

Drop the hammer: Hitting the throttle hard.

Dry hop: Doing a burnout to clear the starting line of loose debris.

Endo: When a vehicle crashes and rolls end-over-end.

E.T.: The amount of elapsed time it takes a vehicle to run the course of the track.

Eyeball the track: To informally inspect the track.

Four link: A type of racing suspension used on a monster truck. The four main bars that link the front and rear axles to the frame. It can be adjusted to control how much traction the truck can get.

Freestyle: One of two categories of competition in the Monster Jam Series. Drivers are given a limited amount of time to individually perform on the track. Fans, selected by the United States Hot Rod Association, often judge the performances.

Grab a footful: Jumping on the accelerator.

Grenade: To damage an engine or another major part severely, such that it comes apart.

Hole shot: First vehicle off the start line.

Hook up: To get enough traction for fast acceleration.

Hot shoe: A top driver.

Lose fire: Stall the engine.

Mash the motor: Accelerate.

Methanol: A wood and alcohol-based fuel mixture used in monster trucks.

Nitrogen-charged shocks: Type of shock absorber that is filled with nitrogen.

Pass: A complete run across the cars.

Pogo: When the truck "pogos" on the rear tires while standing straight up in a wheelie.

Pull the pin: The first thing that an official must do when a truck rolls over. The pin is located in the rear bumper and shuts off all power to the truck.

Riding the wave: Coming down hard and bouncing up on the front tires while traveling some distance.

Roll cage: The steel safety structure that surrounds the driver.

Roll over: When a truck rolls over completely.

Sky wheelie: When a monster truck stands straight up with the front tires in the air at a 90-degree angle.

Side-by-side: Two trucks race next to each other.

Slap wheelie: When a monster truck comes down from a wheelie and slaps itself back into another wheelie.

T-bone: To crash head-on into the side of an obstacle.

Teeter: When a monster truck wheelies the front end while the rear tires are on the ground, rocking from side to side.

Walk it: A wheelie that steps down from side to side during the run.

Wheelie: The ability to carry the truck on its rear wheels and lift the front end.

Source: United States Hot Rod Association, www.ushra.com.

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