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In between school, soccer practice, piano lessons, baseball games, homework, SpongeBob, video games, friends, karate lessons -- it's a wonder kids and parents get to see each other at all. If you need photo ID's to pick out your own kids -- maybe it is time you spent a little more time together.

A family game night is a good way to do that -- setting aside a regular time to be together and do something fun. Especially something that doesn't involve staring vacantly at the TV screen.

"Playing in the dining room, at the kitchen table, or on the family room floor creates a whole different family dynamic than other activities," says Mara Kaplan, CEO of the Center for Creative Play in Regent Square. "Conversations can start to happen -- you may learn things about your child academically or socially that you didn't know. That's a much better atmosphere than, 'Tell me about your day,' when you're doing something you and your child enjoy."

It doesn't have to be anything special, or expensive. Kaplan's family plays "Hangman," tic-tac-toe and "Connect the Dots" while waiting for their food at restaurants. For those games, all you need is a pen. They're also easily adjustable to kids of different ages and skill levels.

"When we play it, my husband and I get less facial features on the 'Hangman' than do my daughter," says Kaplan, of Highland Park. "So she gets lots more chances to guess than we do. Those games not only keep them engaged, they create a sense of conversation, and also really work on spatial awareness and vocabulary."

It's important to make a level playing field, so everyone has a more-or-less equal chance to win, she notes. But that doesn't mean they have to win.

"I don't think it's appropriate -- except when they're very, very young -- for parents to let their kids win," says Kaplan. "If you're looking at Trivial Pursuit, maybe that means giving the parents harder questions than the children. You're still playing the game, and everyone is participating at their best level."

"We try once a week to have a game night," says Tami Brandner, of Mt. Pleasant.

"We have an 8-year old, a-5 year old, a little boy who's almost 2, and a 3-month-old. We let the 8 and 5-year-olds take turns picking a game to play. The 2-year-old tries to join in. Sometimes he gets in the way more than he plays, but he does try to join in."

"On our game night, we make popcorn, or potato chips or pretzels. We spend as much time as the little babies will allow."

They play Yahtzee Jr., Kidoo (the kids' version of Cranium), memory card games, Old Maid, "Don't Break the Ice," "Kerplunk," and an electronic hockey game that four people can play at once. Sometimes even Scrabble, though the kids often need help with words.

"I think it's important to spend time as a family, period," explains Brandner. "Too many people today don't have the time to do that, and then their kids are shuffled in front of the TV or video games or whatever. My husband and I have always thought that it was important to have family time together, that it helps the kids know we're a unit as a family. That we're not just too busy for them -- we have time for them."

Janine Lynch, of Sarver, Buffalo Township, has started playing "Left, Right, Center," with her four sons and extended family over the holidays.

"It's a dice game -- you roll three dice with an 'L', an 'R', a 'C' or a dot on them. Everyone gets 3 chips. If it says left, you pass a chip to the right, if it says center, you put one in the middle. At the end, whoever has chips left at the end, wins what's in the pot in the middle."

"It's easy, and you can bet a quarter. There's a little incentive there," says Lynch. "It's also something all ages can be included in."

There's a lot of trial-and-error involved in finding the right game. Finding the right game for your particular mixture of ages can be tricky. Many games have "junior" versions, like "Scrabble, Jr." or "Clue, Jr," if the regular versions are too hard.

"Most board games are not appropriate for those younger than school age," says Kaplan. "Under 5, they're really not cognitively ready to handle all of the rules. Candyland and Chutes & Ladders can work under 5. But [for other games] parents will see that those younger kids won't really 'get it' -- and parents actually can get into fights with their kids -- because they want their kids to follow the rules, and they're not cognitively ready to do that."

The benefits of gaming go way beyond the simple "fun" factor. Good sportsmanship -- learning to win and lose graciously -- is something kids won't always learn from their coaches, or professional athletes on TV.

"Children can learn to play as a team -- and they learn you don't always win," explains Kaplan. "That's something, this day and age, that we don't teach our children very well. We set up school environments and other sports environments so that our children always succeed. But in the real world, they don't always succeed. Gaming is a good way to teach that."

"Also, you can learn to be a good winner. So you're not throwing all your Monopoly money in the air and saying 'Ha ha ha! I beat you!" Which really does happen all the time anyway..."

Brandner's family knows all about this.

"My son likes to win," she says. "Sometimes he gets very upset if his little sister beats him at games. He's a sore winner -- yelling 'I won!' jumping around the house. My daughter is a pretty gracious winner. She's happy to win, then we go on to the next game."

"We don't let them win, either. I know some people do that -- but they need to learn that not everybody can win. Of the group of us, I'm probably the most competitive, truth be told. I try not to be with the kids ... but a little bit of competition never hurt anybody."

And spending time together doesn't require that you stay inside.

"We try to get out to do a few short biking trips. Sometimes to Ohiopyle, or Washington's Landing down to the Point," says Lynch. "It's a nice afternoon to spend -- because there's less and less time anymore to be together as a family."

In the past few years, the Lynches have also been setting aside time to go skiing together.

"My husband [Thomas] had never skied before," says Lynch. "He was almost 40 years old when he took his first ski lessons so we could do something a family. Now everybody looks forward to it, and we try go four to five times a season."

The rewards range from "Getting out and getting some exercise in the winter," to "just the smiles on their faces." Surprisingly, all her boys were up for it -- and her 3-year-old is going to take lessons next year. But that doesn't mean it's been easy.

"When we first started skiing, my husband almost didn't get off the lift, and had to do a spread-eagled jump to get off," says Lynch. "My boys thought he was doing it on purpose, that it was just the coolest thing. Actually, he just didn't get off in time. For him, he felt like he was jumping from 50 feet."

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