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NEW YORK -- Anne Hale knows just what Oprah Winfrey went through when she fell off the dieting wagon.

Hale might not be talk-show famous, but all eyes were on her when she started putting on weight in front of the dozen Weight Watchers groups she ran every week. She had lost 73 pounds on the program and maintained that weight for several years before gaining 90 pounds.

"I was skinny and wearing cute, little clothes, running all those meetings and being such an inspiration to everybody, and I was back in the fat clothes," says Hale, 40, of Long Beach, Miss. She stopped leading the groups when her weight gain became too obvious. "I was totally humiliated. How could I be a motivator when I let myself go back to the things I talked about not doing?"

Most dieters feel embarrassed, ashamed and frustrated when the pounds creep back on, but those feelings are magnified for someone who has gone public with weight loss, says Dr. Robert Kushner, a professor of medicine at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern.

That's because people in the public eye -- say, a contestant on "The Biggest Loser" -- generally set the bar too high, drastically reducing calories, working out as hard as they can to get maximum results, he says.

"In the short run, they lose tremendous amounts of weight," Kushner says. "They get public accolades for it. They took control of it and cured it."

But weight control is a lifelong battle, he says, and even someone who writes a memoir too soon after losing is treating obesity like an infection. "It's a chronic, ongoing, relapsing problem."

For her part, Winfrey says that when she appeared on the January 2005 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, at a toned 160 pounds, she thought she was done with the weight battle. Four years later, she had put on 40 pounds.

"I was so sure, I was even cocky," she wrote in the January 2009 issue. "I had the nerve to say to friends who were struggling, 'All you have to do is work out harder and eat less! Get your 10,000 steps in! None of that starchy stuff!"'

People who go public with their weight loss often feel a personal responsibility to those who looked to them for inspiration in support groups, on TV or in a memoir.

"When you don't do the job that you are supposed to do, anyone with a conscience feels really embarrassed," says Judith Lederman, co-author of "Joining the Thin Club: Tips for Toning Your Mind after You've Trimmed Your Body."

Lederman, 49, of Scarsdale, N.Y., maintained her 80 pound weight loss for several years. She has gained about 15 pounds, and is working to get back on track.

"I'm recognized on a local level as someone who lost a lot of weight, was snotty enough to write a book called 'Joining the Thin Club,"' she says. "Well guess what? I'm supposed to be a lifetime member."

Jennifer Eisenbarth, 35, of Shakopee, Minn., was eliminated from Season 3's "The Biggest Loser" in the first week, and lost close to 100 pounds on her own. She came back for the finale, weighing a svelte 145 pounds. Her story was picked up in national magazines.

But when "The Biggest Loser" recently invited her back on the show, she had to decline. The reason: She now weighs 200 pounds.

"It wasn't just that I felt like I had let myself down," says Eisenbarth, a mom of three. "I felt like in a way I had let down a lot of the people who really believed I was cured of obesity."

That pressure can be hard to avoid for those who go public with their weight goals. Phylicia Rashad, the new spokeswoman for Jenny Craig, says she's not worried because she went on the program for health reasons, after getting out of breath climbing two to three flights of stairs. She has lost 16 pounds so far.

"When you do something genuinely for yourself, that's when you stand a chance to inspire others," she says. "If you set out to make an example of yourself, who cares? So this is something I am really doing for myself."

But for those who fall off, the shame can be intense. Winfrey avoided head-to-toe magazine covers. Hale changed grocery stores, went to different masses and declined invitations. She says even going back to the Weight Watchers meetings was daunting.

Part of the problem is that people celebrate weight loss too much and too early, says Madelyn Fernstrom, founder and director of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Weight Management Center. She wants the focus to be on more modest weight loss, though she acknowledges it doesn't make for great television.

"Is it better to have 30 pounds off for 10 years or 80 pounds off for seven months?" she asks.

And while obtaining social support in weight loss is crucial, Kushner advises against going too public too soon. He worries that people who see their role models go up and down in weight will become discouraged about their own struggles. If Oprah can't keep her weight in check, how can they?

With any luck, he says, those weight-loss role models will use their gains to teach others how difficult weight loss really is.

Debbie Rickelman, 55, a Weight Watchers leader in Indianapolis, is doing that. She gained 15 pounds over the holidays and shares her challenges with members.

"I think they need to know that just because I lost the weight and I'm up running meetings doesn't mean I can't fall off the wagon and really start gaining the weight back," she says. "But you know how to get back on."

10 tips for getting back on the diet wagon

Most people who regain weight after losing it feel embarrassed and ashamed.

But for those who go public -- writing books, appearing in magazines, leading Weight Watchers meetings -- the experience can be humiliating.

"They banked their reputation on being a successful loser," says Madelyn Fernstrom, founder and director of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Weight Management Center. "But the worst solution is giving up."

Here are 10 tips from the experts on how to get back on track.

• Don't think everyone is passing judgment. You are not a national disgrace, says Fernstrom. "People always think everyone is judging them. That's not true." People will understand because they have been there, she adds.

• Know that you are not a failure. Regaining has nothing to do with whether you are a good or bad person, says Fernstrom.

• Take heart in the fact that you know how to lose weight. "It does work and has worked before," says Fernstrom. But something obviously went wrong, so revisit your plan.

• Don't feel responsible for others. "You are only responsible for yourself and if you motivated anybody while you were losing weight, good," says Carole S. Disenhof, a clinical psychologist and author of "Talk the Weight Off!"

• Don't hide. "You're in very good company," says Judith S. Beck, a cognitive therapist and author of "The Complete Beck Diet for Life." "Most people gain weight back."

• Talk about it. If you feel comfortable, go back and share your struggles publicly, said Martin Binks, director of behavioral health and research director for the Duke Diet and Fitness Center. Examples of hyper-success often create an unrealistic impression that it is easy to lose weight, he said. People need to know it's not as easy as it looks.

• Acknowledge your accomplishments. You lost weight and inspired others, said Binks. "Any time you spent with a better quality of life at a lower weight should be chalked up as a positive experience."

• Learn the skills. It's difficult to keep weight off without knowing the proper way to diet, says Beck.

• Pick a date for when you are going to start again. Generally, you want it to be within the next two to four weeks, says Karen Miller-Kovach, chief science officer for Weight Watchers. She said prepare for that date -- clean out the pantry, purchase a new pair of walking shoes.

• Shore up your support group. "Ask for support and help from those people who you have inspired in the past," says Miller-Kovach. "They can be your greatest fans, your best cheerleaders."

Copyright 2012 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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