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'How High' delivers low humor

It's a good thing my mom taught me there are exceptions to the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" rule.

If she hadn't, I shudder to imagine all the innocents who might stumble unaware into the pit of vileness called "How High" now besmirching the region's multiplexes.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to say I have never been a fan of pot-smoking comedies in general. No, not even as an enthusiastic undergrad at a state university well known for its, ahem, partying.

But this thing makes the Cheech and Chong canon look like Monty Python or the Marx Brothers. Other smokin' movies such as "Half Baked" look at least as good as your average weeknight sitcom.

"How High" stars rap artists Method Man and Redman as Silas and Jamal. Silas is the neighborhood medicine man who has a jungle of herbal remedies growing in his Staten Island apartment. When his friend dies, he uses his ashes to fertilize one of his botanical treasures and promises to take a college entrance exam in his memory. Jamal is a six-year junior college reject from Jersey, whose mom freaks out and orders him to take the entrance exam, too.

Silas and Jamal meet for the first time at the testing center, smoke some of the special weed, and inexplicably conjure up the dead buddy Ivory. Ivory is, of course, invisible to everyone else, but he also knows all the answers on the college placement tests. Silas and Jamal get perfect scores and naturally head to Harvard, where they meet every stereotypical character you'd expect: the Uncle Tom college administrator; the nasty racist blueblood Harvard boy; the nerdy, bicycle-riding, rules-enforcing white kid; the sexually and herbally inexperienced, random Asian-guy roommate - who also knows karate when it's convenient; and glasses-wearing, goodie-two-shoes who hanker for sex with black men.

They also meet some characters played by real actors such as Hector Elizondo, Spalding Gray and Fred Willard (who must have been high when they signed the contract to do this film). The only character who escapes a brutal portrayal is Lauren (Lark Voorhies), the girlfriend of the above-mentioned blueblood, who is studying to be an archaeologist and wins Silas' heart - such that it is.

In fairness, I have to point out that more than a few of the people who saw "How High" the same night I did thought it was a scream. Here are a few of the gags much of the audience found irresistibly hilarous:

  • A guy falls asleep smoking a joint and drops it on his dreadlocks, setting himself on fire. He flails around his apartment before crashing through the window, splatting on the sidewalk and eventually getting run over by a bus.

  • Silas and Jamal open a window to the stuffy administrator's office, spread explosive bird seed around, wave the pigeons in and gleefully watch them blow up all over the expensive imported carpet.

  • The boys dig up a dead U.S. president when they run out of their special Ivory weed, hoping to turn him into something they can smoke to pass their tests. They cut his bones with sickening crunchy sounds and put him in a blender, resulting in an unsmokable greenish-gray goo.

    There also are plenty of insults, sex and bathroom humor, and a few pimps and "ho"s thrown in.

    I prefer my sick humor more of the "South Park" variety - where you giggle till you cry while muttering over and over "I can't believe I'm laughing at this stuff."

    But if you find any of the above mentioned scenarios funny, and promise not to bring any impressionable children along, go ahead and waft your way into "How High."

    You won't have to worry about me being there to spoil the party.

    How High


    Director: Jesse Dylan
    Stars: Method Man, Redman
    MPAA Rating: R, for pervasive drug use and language and for sexual dialogu
    stars