Larger text
Smaller text
Print
E-mail
Chicken hawks are hard to miss
Chicken hawk season, you might have noticed, is in full swing with the colorful, hard-to-miss creatures turning up just about everywhere. The chicken hawk's call is a familiar one that can be heard anytime there's talk of war. That's all it usually takes for these noisy creatures to flush from their comfortable perches to cackle and call for blood.
Unlike other predators that prey on only a few select species, chicken hawks aren't terribly particular about whose blood gets spilled, as long as they end up looking like big, bad warriors.
They're fond of using the word "we" in sentences like "We should go over there and kick some butt." The chicken hawk sounds gung-ho, but when "we" turn around on the battlefield, he's not behind us.
Experts warn against being too impressed by the chicken hawk's endless battle cry. Most of them, despite their bellicose manners and chest-beating, have never actually waged war on much of anything. You don't need sharp claws, military experience or veteran's status to become a chicken hawk. The chicken hawk's American flag bumper sticker or a closet full of rifles is usually enough to fool people into believing he would gladly give his all for God and country.
Though the chicken hawks aren't going away anytime soon, there are some places where, strangely, you won't find their distinctive tracks.
Military recruiting stations, for instance, are one place where chicken hawks tend to be scarce.
Most chicken hawks avoid military service like deer dodging orange hunting jackets. During the years that most chicken hawks could be backing up their rough talk with service, they're in colleges and universities or working far, far away from the shooting.
You won't find many chicken hawks in poor, working class communities where the people who actually go off and fight the wars live. Too many people here have witnessed killing up close and personal. They know that death and destruction are nothing to crow about.
A place where you can always find a chicken hawk is in a barroom. Taverns and saloons are perfect breeding grounds for chicken hawks, who seem to thrive when there's an audience around. Lots of chicken hawks are spawned in front of TV sets. There's something about a steady diet of CNN and The History Channel that breeds chicken hawks.
State capitals and federal offices down in Washington, D.C., also are spilling over with chicken hawks, some of whom have built successful political careers on tough talk without being too tough themselves.
You'd have a hard time tuning in to AM radio talk shows without finding a chicken hawk. On the airwaves, audiences can't test whether the chicken hawk's stated willingness to do battle for his beliefs is real.
Some of us have tired of the ceaseless crowing of the chicken hawks, but there's little we can do to shut them up. Unlike deer and certain kinds of small game, there's no statewide program to thin the chicken hawk population, meaning they're going to be with us for quite some time.
Nature can be so cruel.
